SPRING 2014

Spring!?! What!?! Does anyone else feel like we were just celebrating the 2013 holiday season with our family and friends? I swear, the older I get the faster time is flying by. I'm pretty sure it's because I am having fun. ;)

Spring brings me such a clean and refreshing feeling. Hot cocoa and coffee aren't so appealing anymore, bring on the fruit smoothies and pink lemonade. Suddenly your sweaters, scarves, and boots end up in the back of your closet, bring on the flip flops and short sleeves. It rains, it snows, it's warm, it's cold...but, THE WIND...ugh!

Spring brings back the feeling of being in school and getting that antsy feeling when you know there aren't many days left until you are school-free! For the first time ever, Spring has brought back a nauseated feeling. It was a year ago that I found out I was expecting and started morning, day and night sickness. It's awful to remember such a thing and I hope that this is the first and last time I feel this way about this season.

Spring also feels like a new year. Out with the old, in with the new. Out with the old me. In with the new me. Just like plants, trees, grass, and flowers we can also renew ourselves. I am so thankful that we are able to learn from our mistakes and simply move on with our lives. I have never felt so much peace and joy as I do now. I believe Spring cleaning isn't only for your home, but for your soul too. Here are only three of many things I plan on doing to Spring clean myself.

1. FORGIVE - Forgive anyone that has done you wrong. You can tell them or you can keep it to yourself. I have forgiven and I myself have been forgiven in the past also. The feeling of peace will overcome you!

2. BE POSITIVE - via Twitter I read this from Bo Ramsey: How you feel and look at Monday is a perfect way to see how you feel and look at your life and career! Success starts with Monday! Tell me that is not true!? I don't know how many times I have heard...I hate Mondays...I hate Monday only leads to I hate this and I hate that. Positivity is key.

3. SPRING CLEAN - Admit it...if you aren't on Facebook you're most likely to be found on Twitter or Instagram. SPRING CLEAN, yes...SPRING CLEAN your social media friends!

And here is a picture of tulips, because they are my favorite thing about this beautiful season. Have a wonderful day. xoxo 

Dear Anistyn

Dear Anistyn,

I had promised myself that I would write everything about you in a journal, but you are 3 1/2 months old and life has been busy! I thought I was happy before you were in my life, but now that you are in it I cannot believe that I thought I was "happy" back then.

You were the best newborn baby. Other moms terrified me with their exhaustion, but to my surprise you were sleeping 6 hours straight until I was advised by a pediatrician to wake you up every 4 hours for a feeding instead. I let it slide every once in a while, because I still was not used to waking up throughout the night. You grunted...especially when waking up. The newborn clothes you were given - that I thought you would be too small for - fit you perfectly. You are my little princess, that's for sure. Your Dad was a softy, but is now mush. I do not recall a time he has came home after you were born with a frown. I can see his eyes looking around for you the moment he walks in through the door, and the second he finds you he smiles, he smiles really big.

Now that you have moved out of your newborn stage you are twice the fun! This morning your kicks, happy screams and wide open eyes woke me up. You keep me extra busy some days, and some days you sleep so much that I want to wake you because I start to miss you. Your Dad still gives you the best baths. You splash so much when he starts to sing you your bath song.

We are so blessed to have your Dad. He works hard to let me stay home with you, and because of it I was here today to hear you share your first real laugh. Grandma Jo-Jo recorded you and I've watched the video all day long. I've had to watch the video because my attempts at making you laugh again are a big FAIL. 

Blowouts, spit-up, peeing on our bed...we would not trade it for the world. You have put so many smiles upon our faces. You have made us think twice, maybe even three times about decisions. You have made us look at life differently. You are our biggest blessing. So happy to have you! Love you. 

Anistyn's Baby Blessing

My eyes start to slowly crack open as I start to hear small grunts from a hungry baby that's trying to wake up just as hard as I am. I get up and walk carefully to the other side of the dark bedroom to turn on a lamp. I gently pick up Anistyn and proceed to nurse her.

 

After Anistyn's feeding I stood up with her. I looked in the vanity mirror and saw a Mom with crazy hair and mismatched pajamas, but what stood out to me the most was the way Anistyn held me. Her little tired eyes said, "Thank you, Mom." I just know it!

 

Yesterday Anistyn received her baby blessing. It was such a wonderful day with family & friends. Days before her blessing I was asked to think of something specific I wanted said in her special prayer. Three words struck me most. KIND...I want her to be kind. I want her to respect, love and befriend others. CHEERFUL...I want her bright light to shine through a smile and her personality. I want her to be a happy person and I want her to live a happy life. FORGIVING...I hope that Anistyn becomes a forgiving person. There have been times it has been difficult for me to forgive others, and the moment I do I know that it will - and it has - brought peace and comfort into my life.  

 

However will she learn these things? 

 

It ALL starts at home. Her first teachers will be my husband and I. We need to remember the kind of person we want her to be each day and be that example. And I know that one day she will verbally say, "Thank you, Mom." "Thank you, Dad."

 

 

Our Valentine's Day

This year my husband and I chose to give Valentine's Day a twist. We did not give each other gifts and planned a snowboarding date instead. Valentine's Day came one week and one day late, but I will tell you this...it was worth the wait!

 

Marriage isn't always rainbows and butterflies. There is the bickering over Ben's beard shavings left in the sink. There is the eye rolling because I haven't started washing the pile of laundry. But, I will say this...it is ALL beautiful because there are also days like these that you share together, laugh together, play together, eat good food together and act like you're dating all over again... 

 

YOU ARE MY HAPPY PLACE.

Anistyn Renee Robinson's Birthday!

I recently had a friend share the birth story of her baby girl. It was so fun to read, and her birth story was so different compared to mine! I also realized that I wish I would have wrote everything about it in a journal or blogged about it sooner, because sadly I have forgotten so much in just the last (almost) three months.  

 

The times I have shared my birth story I always start with the Wednesday before we welcomed our sweet Anistyn. Wednesday was my LAST day of work and the day before Thanksgiving. I scheduled my doctor's appointment that afternoon so I could sneak away from the office earlier. My doctor's appointment went well and I was saddened that I had not progressed from the previous doctor visit. I was 90% effaced and dilated to a 1 1/2. "See you next week," was the worst sentence I had heard all day. Luckily, I never got to the uncomfortable point of wanting to evict Anistyn. I knew that she would make her arrival sooner or later. I called my husband, shared what the doctor had said and asked him to bring home pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and brownies. Ben took me to dinner that night and granted my wish of gorging myself in yummy treats. 

 

Thursday, Thanksgiving Day came...Ben and I had planned to spend our first married Thanksgiving apart. I didn't feel safe traveling from Sandy to Vernal and I wanted him to spend time with our family. The thought of being three hours away from my doctor literally scared me. At noon we parted ways. He headed to our hometown and I headed to my cousins' home to spend Thanksgiving with them. Thanksgiving + Being Pregnant was the best thing ever. My due date was December 8th and my cousin's wife was due five days after! Picture this...two very pregnant women black Friday shopping. Yes...my first ever Black Friday. After a fun day and evening I went back to our apartment and called my husband. He told me he was going on a horse ride the next day. WHAAAT!? I thought he'd want to come back home to me the next morning...not go on a horse ride! 

 

Friday...I lost my mucous plug that morning. My first instinct is to Google how soon I would have a baby and my second instinct was to call my Mom. I was so excited that my body was doing crazy things. I called my husband to warn him that he should probably go riding somewhere he had phone service in case anything happened. My stomach flip flopped all morning just thinking that we could become parents soon. Wednesday had officially been my last day of work, but I decided to go in for a few hours and help with checks. My good mood was through the roof and it showed. Some of my co-workers could not believe I was at work and some said I wouldn't be having a baby soon. I wrapped up my short day at work and headed home. I had not heard from my husband...his promised two hour ride had turned into eight! I texted..."Hey" "How was the ride?" and finally, "NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU." This is when my evil pregnant woman kicked in. Luckily I got a phone call from family that were coming to Salt Lake and invited me to dinner. I was so delighted to get out of the apartment that evening...instead of having to wait for my husband.

 

I finally got responses from Ben, and by that point I was so annoyed that I hadn't heard from him sooner. Honestly, this is nothing like me. Keep in mind...that I became an evil pregnant woman that night. Phone call after phone call...and I refused to answer until I received a text message asking if I was mad. YES, I was MAD, but I became FURIOUS when he said he did not feel like driving home that night. WHAAAT!? I can't repeat what I said back, I will just tell y'all that he headed home within the next 10 minutes. Not whipped...intuition. ;)

 

At dinner I asked my cousins that if my water were to break that if they would let me leave the restaurant and THEN inform an employee that they had a mess to clean up. I also shared with them of how I so badly wanted my labor to start similar to Jennifer Aniston's in Marley & Me. I wanted to wake up in middle of the night and head to the hospital. How fun and memorable would that be!?

 

I never hit "nesting mode", but as soon as I got home that night I opened my closet doors and started to separate all my maternity clothes from my regular clothes. Little did I know that, that was as much nesting I would get done. Ben walked into our apartment at 10 PM and did not say a word to me. WHAAAT!? He then proceeded to get comfortable on our living room couch. This did not fly with me. As husband and wife we were to never go to sleep apart...no matter how mad we were at each other. I sat still in bed and repeated over and over in my head I'm not going out there, I'm not going out there...and soon found myself bolting out of our bedroom. My argument was pointless and unsuccessful. I went back to bed and cried myself to sleep. Looking back...I can't believe how childish, how crazy and how silly I must have looked to Ben, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. 

 

My Marley & Me wish became true at 12:15 AM. I just want to point out that Ben had only been home for TWO hours. I was laying on my side when I felt a gush of fluid between my legs. A gush is the perfect way to describe the feeling of your water breaking. My eyes about popped out of my head and I squeezed my legs together and felt it all over again. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, pulled down my panties and realized that my water had broke. I ran out to the living room and told my husband. Needless to say...our fight was over. (To this day I still believe my emotions played a big role on starting my labor.) He hopped right up, our hearts both pumping fast and grabbed all our things to head to the hospital. At this time I felt no contractions and the drive to the hospital was one of the most peaceful and shocking drives of my life.

 

I was admitted and laying on a hospital bed by 1 AM. I will never forget Ben saying he was so happy to have headed home that night. He kneeled by the hospital bed and we held hands. The most beautiful spirit was felt by his meaningful prayer. Two hours later my family arrived. They had drove three hours in the middle of Winter for the arrival of their first grandbaby. My contractions started to kick in when I was dilated to a two. Contractions are a good pain. I just knew that with each contraction I was closer to meeting our long awaited baby girl. I had never been against having an epidural, but I had always known I wanted to feel strong contractions. I turned side to side, I held onto the bed handle, I curled my toes tight with each contraction. It was so cool! I had dilated to a four when the nurse came in at eight that morning and asked if I was ready for an epidural. She strongly suggested I get it then because the anesthesiologist would be busy with a C-Section. I felt I had felt enough pain and decided it was time. I will never forget the feeling of getting the epidural, but after it kicked in I was AMAZED. I felt absolutely nothing. I was relaxed and ready for labor. I stayed dilated at a four for two more hours. The nurse started me on Oxytocin and cranked it up. Ben and I had not had a wink of sleep for hours. Our visitors stepped out of the room to let us rest. My mind and body were restless. I managed to take a short nap and waited several hours.

 

Visitors were welcomed back into our room and then I started to feel the need to POOP. Unbelievable pain! I called the nurse in because the pain had started to make me cringe. She explained that it could be the pressure of the baby and sure enough I had dilated to a 10. The moment my Mother walked into the room I felt so overwhelmed. I shut my eyes and covered them with my left hand. My heart throbbing with fear and at the same time with excitement. My husband held my hand, we were about to become parents. They wheeled in the scary table with all the doctor's tools/instruments, whatever they are called, but they looked terrifying! Still covering my eyes and trying to hold tears in the nurse came to my side and asked if I was okay and I told her I would be fine, that I was just a big boob. 

 

Three practice pushes in and I was told to stop, she was SO ready to make her arrival. Ben got to see the head full of hair on one of those pushes and he loudly said (excuse his language), "Holy shit! So much hair!" with the biggest grin I had ever seen. I was so thankful to have had my husband there for sympathy and my mother there for courage. What seemed like an eternity to my family seemed like a short while for me as we waited for the doctor to come into the room to deliver this sweet baby! I pushed, I pushed and it was the easiest delivery. I said, "That's it!? Can I have a Dr. Pepper?" Our miracle was right before our eyes, purple as can be! She was laid on my chest to do skin to skin and my first thought was that she looked like a baby alien.

I loved my little alien more than anything from that moment on. Her cries filled my heart. The sight of my husband covering his eyes and sobbing like a child (sorry, Ben) filled my heart. Pure bliss...pure happiness filled that room, filled our hearts, and continues to fill our lives.

 

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

Thank you, God.  

 

Anistyn Renee Robinson

November 30, 2013

3:21 PM

7 lbs 1 oz - 20"

Post Baby

There are so many things I could write about post partum. I could write about the way it has changed me personally, my marriage, my every day, the way I spend my time...ok, the arrival of Anistyn has changed my ENTIRE life. Yes, I am currently holding a baby that keeps spitting out her binky in my arms right now, and I just want you to know that I LOVE it. But today I am here to talk about FITNESS after pregnancy and giving birth. First of all, I am probably the biggest hypocrite to talk about fitness and eating healthy. I have worked out a total of three times after I was released at my six week appointment. This morning for brunch I ate two brownies packed with chocolate chips (DOUBLE THE CHOCOLATE, oh my!), a cup of diet Pepsi and a bowl of white chicken chili with two pieces of cornbread. I thought that after being released from my doctor I would go back to my OLD self. My old self ate breakfast every morning, had a healthy snack before and after lunch and my dinner almost always consisted of spinach, brown rice and chicken. I very rarely drank soda and I could easily turn down cake, ice cream, cookies, etc. and I LOVED to workout. Before I found out I was pregnant I had been consistently working out and eating the right foods and lost 10 lbs. I started my pregnancy at 129 lbs. and gained 17. While I was pregnant I did not exercise and ate when I was hungry...which turned into ALL the time. I satisfied every. single. craving. and I am so thankful to have enjoyed pregnancy the way I did. The NEW me is 116 lbs. that struggles to motivate herself to workout and eats the unhealthiest foods. Soda is my drug. I even sneak around to drink it. I think it's a way of convincing myself that if nobody sees me drink it that it won't count. 116 lbs. sounds awesome...it kind of is. I fit into jeans I have not been able to wear since I was 20. I also haven't seen that number on the scale since 9th grade, but I am unhealthy for myself and my nursing baby. I guess I expected to be super motivated to be the strongest and healthiest I could be and instead I am having to work for it. My husband is treating us to a cruise this year and the reason I am documenting this is to look back in several months and see my achievements. If you see me around town eating a cheeseburger and a soda once in a while...don't mind me...STRONG is the new SKINNY. Let's do this!

Welcome Home

Since my last blog post my husband and I welcomed our daughter, Anistyn Renee Robinson, into this world, I turned 23 years young, the holidays for 2013 have came and gone and we have moved back to our hometown.

 

Anistyn was born on November 30, 2013 at 3:21 PM. She weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and measured 20" long.

2013 was an exciting year and welcoming our firstborn has changed our lives forever and I must say for the better. I know there have been family and friends questioning if we had moved back to Vernal recently and the answer is !!!YES!!! We are excited to be close to family again and I am grateful to have the support of my husband to complete my education. I plan on posting more often, but for now, "That's it folks!". I have a sweet baby girl to tend. :)